Tuesday marked a year since my surgery. I can't believe it's been that long. I saw my doctor last week. She took after pictures and let me see the difference between my before and after. It was staggering!
I'm still healing, I suppose. The scars are mostly gone, but aren't as clear as she expected them to be already. Plus, I have a piece of skin that didn't quite go back to where it was supposed to. My doctor said she can remove it so I'm scheduled for a 'skin tag removal' procedure on Feb. 1st.
Tuesday also marked the realization that my Grandpa's cancer is most likely back. The doctors are almost 100% sure. My family is keeping a positive attitude, but we know that this might be the illness that takes him home to God. It's hard to think about, he's my last grandparent.
One thing I hate to think about is mortality. I hardly ever talk about my fear of death. I don't want to die and it's not because I fear eternity. I don't fear that at all. Heaven is going to be amazing. But I do fear having to face the moment just before I die when I know that my time on earth with my friends and family is over. Even worse, I start to shudder when I think of my mother, father, sister or any of my very close friends passing away. I don't dwell on it but it does make me pause.
I have to rely on God that he knows what he's doing. His timing is perfect. I'm not sure why this was on my mind today, but it is. Tomorrow is another day. It's also a day I get to see my Grandpa turn 88 years old.
Do you ever think about this part of life? Does it scare you or do you have a different reaction? I'm curious to know how often it crosses other people's minds.
1 comment:
I avoid thinking about it. If I do, it makes me too sad. I'd rather wait until all of my old fart friends start dropping like flys until I start thinking about it. :)
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