Life is precious.

I had a pretty surreal night last night. After the gym, I went home got freshened up and got ready for bible study. I had already decided that last night was the night I was going to make my move. I was going to finally tell him how I felt. But, as usual, I chickened out. I walked to my car defeated again. I drove home slowly, parked in the driveway and decided I better just call him. Even though it was 11:30, I did it knowing he was just getting home too. I called and got his voicemail. dangit.

So I crawled into bed angry at myself for letting yet another opportunity slip through my fingers. They say you shouldn't go to bed angry. I suppose that counts when you're angry at yourself too, huh?

Here's the surreal part. I woke up to the house phone ringing at 1:00 a.m. As everyone knows, that's never a good sign. It was my aunt, telling me that Grandpa was going to the ER because he was aspirated. In short, he had somehow vomited and then inhaled a bit of it into his lungs. My aunt has a broken foot, so she couldn't make it easily to the hospital. My sister is the second in line on Grandpa's care directive, so we drove, my sister and I, over to the ER.

As we walked in we noticed my other aunt's BIL sitting there with his son.
We went over to greet them and let them know about Grandpa. Poor guy had jammed his finger pretty hard on something so it was all swollen.

Then he turned to me matter of factly and said, "Did you hear about Chris (his wife)?" I did notice she wasn't with him but figured she was at home.

I told him no, I hadn't heard anything. He went on. "She passed away on Saturday."

Of course I looked at him a bit dumb-founded. She wasn't in the best of health but I never thought she would leave us so early. I listened to him a bit more then I asked about a service.

"It's going to be on Saturday. That would have been her 50th birthday. Her daughter and I thought that would be fitting."

Holy crap. My heart broke. I let him know that of course I would go; that I wouldn't miss it. She was a great lady. They were very in love.

My mom stepped through the doors. My sis and I filled her in on what we knew so far. We also told her about Chris.

We still hadn't seen Grandpa come into the ER and it was now almost 1:30 a.m., so I volunteered to run across the street to the care home where he lives. I got there just in time to see the EMTs put him into the ambulance. (Even though he is right across the street, it's standard to take the residents over to the hospital via ambulance) The EMTs said he would be to the ER shortly. I also met up with the chaplain so together he and I walked back over to the hospital.

Once we got back to the ER, the chaplain sat with us for a while. My aunt's BIL was called for his finger, so he left and wished us well.

At about 2:00, the chaplain went to go investigate for us. He came back about 10 minutes later and said that Grandpa was there so we could go back and see him.

So, mom sis and I went to his room. Grandpa was wide awake and smiled when he saw us as he always does. We sat with him while they checked him periodically. At this point, his fever was down, he wasn't coughing much anymore - pretty much as healthy as a 88 year old can be! His biggest complaint is that his neck hurt from the lack of support behind his head!

I hung out until around 4:00 a.m., making sure to call into work to leave word that I would be late coming into work. By then he was feeling just fine and really just wanted to lie down to sleep. My mom agreed to drop my sister off at home later so that I could go on home.

I crawled back into bed a little later knowing that I had to be awake again in about 3 hours. I ended up sleeping until a little after 8:30 then went into work.

I checked with my mom to find out any update. Grandpa is back at his room in the care home. His official diagnosis is bronchitis now.

And now, I'm sitting here watching tv, completely vegging out to 'reality' that is edited for my entertainment.

Tomorrow is another day - a day to live to the fullest, seize the day, prove to myself that I've learned a little more about myself, and to cherish the lives that I come into contact with.

God has put these trying times in my life to help me endure them with His help. Life isn't meant to be a easy road; there's plenty of bumps and rough patches that come along to help me grow. In these times I can either choose to lament and be down in the dumps or I can look at them as opportunities to grow stronger, to perservere and to recognize that God is in control.

Sunday's going to be fun

Today I went to the gym to get my free one-week pass and make an appt for one personal trainer session. I'm pretty sure the gym thinks I'm going to join, which I probably will just to say I have a gym membership. I'll go simply because I can't bear to pay for something I'm not using. Yeah, I might go once or twice a week, but my goal is 3 or 4 times.

The funny part is, I should have joined one of the four that are within 150 yards of my house a long time ago. It's quite comedic that in a town this size, all of the gyms are within a stone's throw of each other.

So I put on my cute new gym capris and tank top, then set out on the elliptical. However, I started out way too fast and was pretty much feeling it in five minutes. Ouchy on my quads. Next!

In walks a very familiar looking man. I can't place him, which I hate, but I thought he was pretty cute! He and his buddy were treadmilling in no time then they left after a while; I presumed to the weight machines.

Ok where was I? Oh yeah I moved on to the stairclimber. Yeah, I hate that machine. I don't get it. According to the machine I walked seven whole flights of stairs in five minutes. P'shaw. Ridiculously unexciting.

So I moved on to the tried and true treadmill. I have one of these at my house (my sister bought one) so I'm familiar with my training limits and whatnot. I did 25 minutes on that then decided what I really wanted to do was weights upstairs since I could do the treadmill anytime.

And now of course I'm super stinky 'cause I've been aerobic for about 40 minutes. I resigned myself to the fact that everybody is stinky at a gym. :)

I made my way up the stairs to the weight room. There's almost nobody up there. I'm walking around the entire room looking at the labels of the machines to see which ones I needed to shape up my abs and back. Of course I found them - right next to cute guy from downstairs. He and his buddy were finishing up their bench presses then they left again. Random...

So, I worked my abs on two machines, back and deltoids on some others. All in all I spent a good hour at the gym. I can feel the soreness coming on. I figure by Sunday it won't be pretty!

And of course as I was leaving, I have to walk by the pool and guess who? cute guy. Dangit I wish I knew how I know him. It's going to bug me until the next time I see him. Then I'll just ask him who the heck he is.